Talked to the new surgeon yesterday for the endometriosis on my diaphragm and got tests ordered to see if there's more under my diaphragm on my chest and if it's on my lungs.

I'm having a difficult time processing all of this, it's like every time I say it to someone there's the shock value factor. They're too shocked by the concept to show empathy. It's . It's disconnecting.

I want to travel inside myself and fly through my nerve pathways and hum. I don't know if that would fix anything but maybe the pain wouldn't be so bad.

Doctors for the past 10 months have underestimated what's wrong in my body and have told me I have a low pain tolerance.

My pain tolerance is so high I didn't feel the pain from endometriosis being on every internal organ in my pelvis unless I was actively on my period. Like damn maybe there's something severely wrong. I want to slap everyone who has called me dramatic. I want to scream in their face. I want to hook them up to one of those period simulator machines cranked all the way up but on their bowels, bladder, pelvic floor muscles, ovaries/balls, liver, diaphragm, and lungs.

Perhaps I should have just said 'rend asunder'

I'm not surprised it's estimated I need 3 more surgeries for what's going on with my diaphragm. It's sicky validating. I Knew. Fuck you.